SF and Fantasy Movie Reviews Starting With X
X-Men (2000) 
Genres: Sup F Act
For some reason there's all these hot mutants who wear tastefully sexy outfits and run around all worked up and glamorous. They're not so mutated that they're bad-looking, with just a couple of exceptions -- their mutations give them various super-powers and also sometimes cute little trimmings evocative of the superpowers, like cute little sideburns on Wolverine. Naturally, normal people feel threatened by all this and discriminate against the mutants, like against Asians for being thinner and having higher SAT scores. So there's two camps of mutants, the ones who want to help the norms and the ones who despise them and want to get back at them. My sister says the Asians are like that too, her engineering classes are full of them but they won't talk to her. Although sometimes the guys do because women in engineering are so scarce and they're "desperate for tail" -- her words.
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Genres: Sup F Act
The director of the first two movies went off to make the next Superman movie, so they used some schmuck instead. He's still Jewish, of course, so just because the dialogue is more generic than usual and the tactics are atrocious you shouldn't assume he can't tell this is the case. It's probably just that he has less respect for the goyish audience than the previous one. And/or less respect for the material. I love it when sexy men are tortured picturesquely but it really helps when it's not ridiculous and repetitive. What a schmuck.
Guest comment: I just watched the last 30 minutes of X-Men 1 and the tactics were fine. I had no complaints at all. But in #3 they were really ridiculous on both sides. In #1 there were four bad guys and half a dozen good guys, largely low-powered especially outside of melee. In #3 there were a zillion mutants, many with over-the-top powers. So it's almost impossible to write for that situation, and the writer didn't even try, he just made up any crazy tactics. In #1 you could see the craftsmanship -- Magneto could easily beat Wolverine so the story mostly drained Magneto of his powers at the moment Wolverine fought him. Singer thought about this sort of thing.
X2: X-Men United (2003)
Genres: Sup F Act
The mutants get discriminated against, the arch-evil gay mutant is plotting again, and What's-Her-Name is having personal problems. I can really feel for What's-Her-Name. She's married to Silly Hot Hot-Blooded Youngster Whom You Just Wanna Whip Senseless Spank He's So Cute And Snotty and being pursued by Slightly Less Silly Rugged Yet Gorgeously Chiseled Dreamboat. What's a mutant girl to do? And they both wear tight black leather.
Please note that all material on this page is Copyright © 2005 by D. Aline Lurie.
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